Creativity In Brains

I know I say this every few months….

But I’m going to make this blog a little more read-able.
A little less whiny.
And a little bit more about my experiences and things I want to remember months and years from now…

Written in a way that won’t make me want to delete it three years later so the world has no record of what a whiny shallow little girl I used to be (cough cough my old blog).

I guess reading updates from my friends’ blogs (Like Ellen’s general overall funny life blog, or Daniel’s hilarious blog about his exchange) makes me want to first of all, be hilarious like them, and secondly, write something that people might actually want to read.

This probably means going back and editing the stupid posts I’ve already made on this blog, but hey… brilliance sometimes requires sacrifice right?

Exam time procrastination

I mean.. why else am I writing my blog?
Also, this makes me laugh how often I look at the last blog post I did and realize how I go and do the exact opposite.

What a kid. 

Boys are the devil.

Nah I just kidding. They can be pretty boss.

But I think I’m going to stick with them being strictly platonic from now on.

You can avoid the douchebaggery much easier that way.

One Tree Hill

I can’t believe this show is over.

This show found me at a time when I needed it more than I knew. I was alone in my house, flipping through the channels and it caught my eye. It was an episode about a shooter in a highschool.. and I couldn’t pull my eyes away. Since that day, I have watched every single episode, and I own every season except for 8 and 9 (which just came out).

This show helped me to grow into the person I am today. It helped me find confidence, give me hope and it allowed me to believe that anything is possible.
I’m a firm believer in the fact that TV shows can be so much more to a person than just something to pass the time.. because One Tree Hill was so much more than just a hour of my time a week… it was something that found its way into my heart and soul and changed me for the better.

I’m gonna miss it… <3

Complaining

I know I just need to have like a big huge long like three hour bitch fest like I did with Justin back over Christmas break and get everything out.

I’m pretty sure otherwise it’ll just keep bottling up and kind of come out like it did last night.

The only real issue is that theres really nobody I feel comfortable going up to and being like “do you have a night to just listen to me get this shit out? I promise you won’t have to listen to me talk ever again”. 

It’s really a shame.

Titles are useless

I just have such an overwhelmingly smothering sense of worthlessness and unwantedness right now.

Lately it’s been okay or not too hard to deal with everything thats been going on… but with the teams leaving for CIS nationals tomorrow… Its been getting tougher as the days have been going on. I guess it’s been really bad since that picture was posted of “Pandas 2011/2012” and I am the only one that wasn’t invited to be in it. Out of everybody thats on the University’s roster. Not just the nationals/regionals team.

It sucks knowing that the only person that could probably cheer you up at this moment is already gone and is meeting the team in Ontario… where the entire CIS team gets to see them first and talk to them first while you’re back at home keeping yourself holed up in your room so that you don’t have to stop yourself from crying in front of everyone else.

I knew this time of year was going to start getting tougher… as it’s been almost a year since we lost you… but I guess I didn’t know exactly how hard it was going to be with all the other things going on.

—

Somebody told me the other day that it is silly to pretend things aren’t happening to protect others.

In some cases I strongly disagree. I feel like sometimes parents don’t really want to know how much their baby girls and boys are drinking on a weekly basis at residence.

In other cases… I feel like it’s probably true. I feel this could possibly just mean exercising cautionary discretion… but I suppose it’s better to be upfront and honest a vast majority of the time.
And I suppose that if I don’t start doing that… well I’m kind of a filthy hypocrite aren’t I? 

I guess basically the idea is that one of my really good friends was probably right… You can’t always protect everyone… and you have to learn to be okay with who you are and where your life is going.

Posting

I’m pretty sure I’d post more often on this blog if I felt like I could post about what I actually really want to post about.

You see… thats the trouble with letting people see where you write shit down. Same thing with my twitter. I feel like I can’t actually talk about my actual life because of some of the people that read it.

Same with facebook. Like how this weekend I had to post about how excited I was for dodgeball on twitter so my mom couldn’t see it on facebook that I was playing again. oops. 

Curling!

So.. I get to curl tonight.

Yeah thats right. I’m totally going to stage a BA Sidney Crosby comeback.

Except without the whole playing a few games and then having to sit again.

=)

Time of our lives

There is a moment that everybody should experience sometime in their lives.
That moment of “I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing, or why we’re doing it, and I don’t care. This is just so much fun, and we’re going to remember this night for the rest of our lives.”.

Tonight I experienced one of these moments.
Riding the elevator with a few of the girls on my floor, sitting on a mattress. Eating popcorn and watching Finding Nemo.

Sure, everytime the elevator went to a different floor we were met with odd looks… but we also were met with new friends and a wicked story to tell later.

I hope everybody takes a chance some day and goes along with a crazy plan.. or even better, make one up.
Sure, I stole the elevator part of this from the UAARG boys and their Halo adventures… but we also made it our adventure, and our story.

Tonight was great.